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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29761293">My Little Parasites</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/usuallysunny/pseuds/usuallysunny'>usuallysunny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bets &amp; Wagers, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Family Feels, Pregnancy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Twins, ultrasounds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:54:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29761293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/usuallysunny/pseuds/usuallysunny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Twins?” he repeats it like it’s a dirty word, “I’ve impregnated you with <i>two<i> offsprings? I’m barely on board with one!"</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“New Dads,” Chloe smiles tightly at the bewildered sonographer, “you know how it is.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>In which Lucifer is utterly confused by human reproduction, Trixie pockets $100, and Chloe is just trying to deal.</i>
  </i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>409</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Little Parasites</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe tiredly shakes the pill bottle in her hand and pops two painkillers. She doesn’t have a headache, but she’s preparing.</p><p>“But it’s a nice name!” Trixie is whining, bringing her hands down onto the tan sofa either side of her in petulant frustration.</p><p>“It’s a lovely name,” Lucifer is seemingly in agreement but then his mouth pinches as he adds, “don’t scratch the leather.”</p><p>“Then <em>why </em>won’t you call my sister it?”</p><p>From where she’s sitting on a bar stool, Chloe’s hand instinctively travels to her stomach. Her palm fits snugly in the rounded curve, her shirt a little tighter than it was a few weeks ago, and she can still hardly believe it's real. </p><p>It all happened very quickly, for reasons they still don’t understand. Amenadiel thinks it’s another miracle, a gift from God. Linda thinks it was possible because she makes Lucifer vulnerable, human in a way he’s never been with anyone else. Maze just thinks it’s hilarious and Ella thinks it’s fate.</p><p>For Chloe, the answer is far more simple. It’s love. If she’s sure of anything, it’s that she loves Lucifer and she always will. He loves her too. It took him longer to say the words, but he loves her in a way that is just as intense—if not <em>more</em>—than the way she loves him. She understands why he was initially apprehensive when she showed him that test with the two pink lines, and maybe she should be scared too—he is the <em>Devil, </em>after-all—but she isn’t.</p><p>He loves her and she loves him and what is there to be scared of when you have that kind of luck?</p><p>She hears Lucifer replying to Trixie’s question.</p><p>“Because no child of mine is going to be named after a character from a bloody Disney+ show.”</p><p>Trixie huffs in exasperation.</p><p>“It’s just <em>Cara. </em>I’m not suggesting <em>Carasynthia</em>. I’m not <em>unreasonable.</em>”</p><p>Lucifer’s mouth quirks at the side, amused by her frustration.</p><p>“Still,” he says, “that horrible little green thing is enough to make the Devil shudder.”</p><p>“<em>Grogu</em>,” Trixie corrects, so infuriated that an angry flush has begun to rise in her cheeks, “no-one will know she's called Cara after the show.”</p><p>“<em>I </em>will.”</p><p>“But she’s a feminist <em>role model</em>,” Trixie’s insisting loftily, eyes wide and unblinking, “she’s a <em>solider</em>. Don’t you <em>want</em> your daughter to be a kick-ass solider?”</p><p>“Language!” Chloe scolds, just as Lucifer lifts a brow.</p><p>“My daughter will <em>kick arse</em>,” he repeats it sourly, not sounding right in his silvery posh accent, “at anything she chooses to be,” Chloe’s chest warms at the affection he already has for what's growing inside her, his trepidation and sheer terror having turned into nervous excitement, “but she won’t be called Cara.”</p><p>Trixie huffs in annoyance again and turns her attention to Chloe, whining a <em>“Mom!” </em></p><p>Chloe holds her hands up, not getting involved.</p><p>“Who says the little urchin growing inside your mother is female, anyway?” he asks, “it might be a boy.”</p><p>Trixie’s nose scrunches in disgust.</p><p>“No way.”</p><p>Lucifer grins, lips pulling over gleaming white teeth.</p><p>“I bet it is,” he taunts, “in-fact, I <em>hope</em> it is. It would be a <em>travesty</em> for these dashing good looks to end with me. It’s going to be a son who looks like me, and I’m going to dress him in Alexander McQueen, and teach him how to play poker, and drive an Aston, and I’ll never have to play <em>Barbies</em> or watch that silly <em>Mandalorian</em> show with you ever again.”</p><p><em>Oh dear, </em>Chloe thinks, rubbing her temples.</p><p>Trixie doesn’t look upset; quite the contrary. Her eyes narrow and she smiles, calculating and slow. Chloe knows that look, the glint in her eye just before she does something naughty, and thinks she would prefer to see tears.</p><p>“Care to wager a bet?”</p><p>Lucifer’s eyes practically light up, the <em>bastard</em>.</p><p>“The Devil doesn’t normally make deals with hormonal pre-teens,” he says dryly, “but I’ll make an exception for you, my dear.”</p><p>“I bet Mommy will have a girl.”</p><p>“And what are your terms? A month of chocolate cake for dinner?”  </p><p>Chloe throws him a scowl, tipping her head to the side and widening her eyes in silent admonishment. He notices but merely gives her a charming grin, his shoulders shrugging under expensive Tom Ford.</p><p>“No. I want cold, hard cash.”</p><p>Chloe struggles not to roll her eyes at her daughter’s dramatics. Lucifer looks positively delighted.</p><p>“Fifty dollars says you’re wrong," he says.</p><p>“A hundred.”</p><p>He lifts a brow again.</p><p>“Quite the negotiator, aren’t we?”</p><p>“Take it or leave it.”</p><p>He throws her a flat look as though he wants to leave it—but he bites.</p><p>“Fine. A yard, it is.”</p><p>Trixie stands. She walks over to him and holds her hand out. Her expression is very serious and so is his, though there’s a tell-tale twitch to his lips, and he seals the deal with a shake.</p><p>Chloe sits back with a sigh and thanks her past self for the painkillers.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
“<em>Twins?”</em> he repeats it like it’s a dirty word, “I’ve impregnated you with <em>two </em>offsprings? I’m barely on board with one!”</p><p>Chloe blinks at the monitor, her own surprise clawing at her throat. The blue ultrasound gel is cool on her exposed tummy, and Lucifer sounds distraught, and she can’t work out what the <em>hell </em>is going on.</p><p>It takes her a moment to remember they’re not alone in the room.</p><p>“New Dads,” she smiles tightly at the bewildered sonographer, who's clearly shocked by his outburst, “you know how it is.”</p><p>Lucifer lets go of her hand, where he has it in a death grip, and starts to pace.</p><p>“Right, that’s it!” he declares suddenly, “we’re never having sex again.”</p><p>The sonographer blinks in surprise but she’s unused to Lucifer’s dramatics and Chloe’s… <em>not</em>, so she smiles at her again, polite but tight.  </p><p>“Could you give us a minute please?”</p><p>The other woman nods, brushing past him with a look that’s half-bewilderment, half-disgust. But Chloe knows he’s not trying to upset her, that he’s not just a dead-beat, soon-to-be dad, terrified of responsibility. Of course, he <em>is</em> terrified of responsibility and he <em>is</em> an immature, 14 billion year old man-child—but she knows he’d never leave her and she knows he’s scared.</p><p>If <em>one</em> baby had sent him to the balcony, staring at the LA night sky for hours in a state she could only describe as catatonic, <em>two</em> babies must be frying his brain.   </p><p>“Lucifer,” she tries to bring him back to earth, trying to calm him whilst simultaneously trying not to freak out herself. She’s not in her twenties anymore, after-all, and she imagines giving birth to <em>two </em>literal spawns of Satan won’t exactly be the same as giving birth to Trixie, “calm down.”</p><p>He stops pacing immediately, a slave to her orders, her affection, and sighs. He runs an agitated hand over his face and turns to her.</p><p>“I apologise, Detective,” he murmurs, “that just… well, it threw me a little.”</p><p>“I can see that.”</p><p>“Are <em>you</em> alright?” he moves over to her, his hand hovering over her belly, clinical hospital lights glinting off his ring, “they’re not… hurting you, are they?”</p><p>Her brows furrow, a wave of protectiveness washing over her. Her eyes flit to the screen, where she can see the fuzzy outline of two shapes. She watches them and remembers the beat of the ultrasound, a vibration that sounded like it was underwater, the strength of their little heartbeats. She swallows past the dryness in her throat. They’re not even here, just the promise of something, but she loves them so much, it makes her ache.</p><p>She wants Lucifer to love them too.</p><p>He takes a seat next to her and she grabs some tissue, wiping the gel from her tummy. Then she takes his hand, entwining their fingers, and places them on her bump.</p><p>“They’re not going to hurt me,” she promises gently, trying not to dwell on how he'll react during the painful birth, “I know they’re… unexpected,” he huffs an incredulous breath of air at her understatement, “but they’re <em>ours</em>.”</p><p>“We only ordered one,” he says weakly.</p><p>“Not even one,” she reminds him, “it’s just another surprise; we’ll adjust. We’ll also need to adjust to using condoms in the future.”</p><p>His nose scrunches in distaste.</p><p>“It’s your fault,” he murmurs about his unique vulnerability around her, his fingers warm and tight around hers, “for making me love you so much.”</p><p>She smiles, a deep twinge in her chest.</p><p>“Unless you meant it about never having sex again.”</p><p>He huffs a laugh, his dark eyes flitting to her stomach.</p><p>“I don’t know, darling, seeing you round with <em>two</em> of my babies…” his voice drops low and silky smooth, dripping like honey, “It’s doing it for me, actually. I’m rather revved up. How long do you think we have until she comes back?”</p><p>“<em>Lucifer</em>.”</p><p>He tests the mattress with a little push.</p><p>“The bed looks sturdy enough.”</p><p>“Lucifer!”</p><p>He grins that charming grin, looking every inch like the snake from the Garden.</p><p>“Alright. I suppose I can wait until we get home to ravish you.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes, the action bringing her attention back to the screen. She watches the grainy shapes move and morph.</p><p>“It’s amazing, isn’t it?”</p><p>His throat moves as he swallows, dark eyes fixated on the screen.</p><p>“Yes. Quite remarkable, really.”</p><p>She feels an inexplicable burning behind her eyes and nose as she looks at him, strong and beautiful, even in the harsh, clinical lights. A muscle in his jaw leaps as he keeps his eyes on the screen and she keeps staring at him, hardly able to believe she gets to call him <em>hers. </em>She gets to call all of this—Trixie and these babies and this <em>family</em>—hers.</p><p>It feels like she’s been waiting an eternity for it and it’s not exactly what she expected… but it’s perfect.</p><p>“You’re going to be an amazing Dad.”</p><p>He clears his throat and adjusts his cuffs, looking nervous and unsure. They’re strange emotions to see on him, this outrageous, intoxicating, <em>ridiculous</em> man. He wears confidence like he wears a three piece suit. It makes her a little sad, to know he’s hesitant because of his past, all the trauma he’s been through.</p><p>He wants to be loved and forgiven and <em>enough</em>—but to Chloe, he always has been.</p><p>Not for the first time, she rages at a God she never used to believe in.</p><p>“I haven’t exactly had the best role model.”</p><p>“I know,” she says, “but you’re not Him. You’re good and you’re kind and when they come along, you’ll just know what to do.”</p><p>His hand tentatively touches her stomach again, warm palm flat and ring gently rasping against the skin.</p><p>“I can’t imagine loving anything as much as I love you,” he says quietly.</p><p>She smiles, wide and teary, and thinks of the first time she held Trixie against her breast—a love so intense, it scared her.</p><p>“You will,” she promises.</p><p>He still looks unsure but his expression is soft and gentle, a little awed as he chuckles—</p><p>“My little parasites.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes and pulls him in for a kiss, feeling the curve of his smile against her lips. He feels calmer now, muscles relaxed under a green suit only he can pull off. He looks a little ridiculous and out of place, long legs shoved into a foldable hospital chair, wearing a perfectly tailored suit that cost more than the equipment in this room. She knows he’ll always be like this—rushing headfirst, acting out of gut reaction, pure instinct, a propensity towards the dramatic and the absurd—and she knows she’ll always pull him right back. She wouldn’t have him—<em>them—</em>any other way.</p><p>When the sonographer returns, she smiles warmly at their embrace.</p><p>“Crisis averted?” she asks amusedly.</p><p>Lucifer gives a little tug on his jacket lapels as he adjusts himself in the seat.</p><p>“Yes. I do apologise for my outburst.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” she dismisses as she gets ready to print the scan pictures out, “you’re not the first Daddy to freak out in here.”</p><p>Lucifer’s mouth pinches, an offended <em>“the devil does not freak out” </em>likely on the tip of his tongue. Still, he sits back and relaxes as the appointment continues.</p><p>When they’re handed some grainy ultrasound pictures a little while later, Chloe is touched to see Lucifer immediately pull his wallet out from his jacket pocket. He slips the picture inside, but not before he pauses at the sight of a hundred dollar bill.</p><p>Chloe smirks, reading his mind, and he gives a little sigh.</p><p>“I <em>really</em> hope at least one of them is a boy.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Really hope you enjoyed this shameless fluff! Lucifer as a Dad is just my jam. You guys can decide whether they had boys or girls, or both! In the continuation in my head, I imagine one of each and Lucifer being like “pay up, I said a boy” and Trixie being like “nuh-uh, I only said “Mommy will have a girl”, which she did” and eugh, it’s cheesy but I love it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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